Every "yes" is attached to a "no"

"For what we want most, there is a cost must be paid in the end."
Tia Dalma, Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End

"No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever."

This past week brought the steepest price I've yet had to pay in order to follow my dream of serving in Israel--saying farewell to my piano students and their families.

I have found teaching to be a high-risk, high-reward type of job. It requires a lot of time, energy, attention, and love. Often, I've felt overwhelmed and sometimes frustrated. But the rewards are great--seeing a student's excitement when they master something new, watching them grow in their self-confidence, and simply watching them grow up as time goes by. To me, being a piano teacher has always been more than simply music instruction. My goal is to be an influence in young lives for good, to be a dependable listener and encourager.

I realized recently I probably know my students better than many of my friends as I see them more frequently! As I spend a half-hour with every student each week, I've learned much about their interests, friends, strengths, weaknesses, etc.

But there is a cost when one invests in the lives of others. As I prepare to leave and goodbyes must be said, I find myself leaving behind pieces of my heart. Each student has become special to me, and the realization of how much I will miss these weekly lessons while in Israel is a painful one. It's been a tough week and my heart still aches from all the partings. I've had to say goodbye to a student I've had for 8 years (since he was 6!), a couple students I've had for only 4 months, and everything in between. They are all unique and have been such a blessing to me. Even though it won't be the same, I'm grateful for e-mail so we can keep in touch!

I was asked if, in light of these painful separations, I was having second thoughts about leaving. My answer is a definite no. I know this is God's calling for me and to stay home simply to avoid the pain would be disobedient and unfulfilling. I'm reminded of Ariel in Disney's "The Little Mermaid." After she barters with the sea witch to become human, Sebastian (the crab) emphatically states his desire to tell her father and return her to the sea where she'll be . . . well, just be miserable again. I'm not saying that remaining here would be miserable :-), but serving in Israel is a desire being fulfilled! I would have huge regrets if I stayed here simply because it was familiar, comfortable, and painless.

I must remind myself of what I believed to be true from the beginning--if this is God's leading (and I believe it is), He will take care of all involved. He has a purpose for me in leaving, and He has plans in place for the kids staying here. No detail is outside His attention and plan.

To all my students and their families, thank you so much for allowing me to be part of your lives these past months and years. My life has been made richer by all of you, and I will greatly miss you! May God bless you all!!

A New Adventure . . .

In Old Testament times, the Israelites (under Joshua's leadership) had to cross the Jordan River to enter the Promised Land. In other words, the Jordan was a barrier to what God had in store for them. The bank of the river was quite abrupt, and at the time of their crossing, the Jordan was at flood stage. Once a person steps in, they're in. The Israelites were led by the priests; these courageous men walked down to the bank and stepped in. As soon as they stepped forward, God acted and held back the water.

In New Testament times, Jesus was baptized in the Jordan River before He began His 3-year public ministry. Again, it could be suggested that the Jordan River was a barrier of sorts. Jesus had to enter the river (and go under the water) before He could begin what God had called Him to do.

On June 10, 2008, I was baptized in the Jordan River in Israel. Despite the fact that this was my third baptism, I knew the Lord was asking me to do this in obedience and surrender to Him. In essence, He was asking me to step forward in faith and cross the "barrier" between life as it was and whatever He would call me to in the future. At this point, I honestly didn't know what the future held, but I was willing to follow His leading and be open to however He directed my life. The experience of going under the cool Jordan water was a special moment I will remember forever!

My third trip to Israel in 2008 was unexpected, yet undoubtedly orchestrated by God. It ended up being an intense trip spiritually though quite difficult physically. When I returned home on June 28, 2008, I deplaned in Denver with a new purpose and calling on my life. There was no doubt in my mind God had called me to return to Israel at some time in the future. This country and its people had become my passion and I could not wait to return.

I spent many months searching for a way back to Israel, all to no avail. This past spring, I suspended the active looking--I was tired of closed doors!! On June 28, 2009, I accidentally stumbled across the website for CMJ (www.cmj-israel.org). That website included a page on volunteering, and the more I read, the more perfect it seemed. What really gave me goose bumps was that this opportunity surfaced one year to the day since I left Israel. God truly is amazing!!

To make a long story short, here I am, six weeks away from leaving behind what is familiar and stepping out in faith to follow God's leading (taking me halfway around the world!). While I do not yet know my specific responsibilities, I will be volunteering in CMJ's Guest House located inside Jaffa Gate (Jerusalem's Old City).

I have no idea what He intends to do in the next year, but I know He is in control and has some big plans and purposes in store for me! I look forward to seeing Him work and sharing the joy of the Lord with others!! Thanks for praying.